What Started With Manure And Ended In A Hulk
by Radi0Activity
Summary: Friday was just one of those days that Tony got sick of Clint spying on him and Bruce through the air vents... Friday was the day that Bruce and Tony decided to play a harmless prank on the unsuspecting archer... And you know, if anyone else got caught in the fray, it wasn't exactly their fault. Bruce/Tony friendship fic.


**A/N: I had seriously ****_not _****expected to get this out today but... Hey, I just proved myself wrong!  
Happy reading folks!**

**I DONT OWN AVENGERS, SHEESH, HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY THIS?!**

* * *

**WHAT STARTED WITH MANURE AND ENDED IN A HULK**

* * *

Friday was just one of those days that Tony got sick of Clint spying on him and Bruce through the air vents... Friday was the day that Bruce and Tony decided to play a harmless prank on the unsuspecting archer... And you know, if anyone else got caught in the fray, it wasn't exactly their fault.

* * *

"He's watching us again," Tony muttered blankly out of the corner of his mouth while Bruce tried hard not to laugh. "I mean, he's not exactly subtle is he?"

Bruce shrugged and peered at the latest model of Tony's Iron Man suit; Mark 58. Personally, he'd liked the _look _of the previous model better – not that he'd ever tell the billionaire. "I'm sure he'd be more subtle if he didn't try to bring his bow and arrows up with him." He said reasonably, biting his lower lip in concentration.

Tony snorted and picked up a deadly sharp arrow and placing it back down again almost immediately. "I'm sure he'd be more subtle if he didn't shoot fart arrows at us every half an hour." He muttered, looking up at the air vent and stuck his tongue out at Clint who tried to pretend he wasn't there and shied away from the view of the two 'science buddies'.

Bruce reached for what looked like a harmless pink bouncy ball and turned it over in his palm. "Can I use this?" He whispered, loud enough for Tony to hear but not loud enough for the archer to hear in the vents.

Tony nodded, his eyes gleaming, but forced himself to continue working as though Bruce had been only asking for some sort of advice. The scientist turned around and muttered something under his breath before throwing it up into the air where it collided with the air vent – a direct hit – and exploded in a cloud of disgusting, smelly brown stuff.

"Gross!" Clint yelped, trying hard not to gag. There was a fair bit of scuffing in the vents above them until finally it was silent and the two science buddies shared looks of amusement, Tony trying hard not to burst out laughing.

"We _have _to go see what he looks like," Tony snickered and Bruce just shrugged, though there was a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"He probably looks like a Clint-shaped manure monster."

Tony smirked. "My point exactly," he said brightly. "Let's go – don't forget a camera."

* * *

The two found Clint only moments later in the kitchen, terrorizing Thor, Steve, Natasha and Pepper.

Clearly, he'd gotten over the initial shock of being covered in manure-like substance and had deemed it prudent to use it to his advantage, something Tony fully approved of. His bow was pointed at the four and he was dripping brown muck, edging closer and closer to the four who were desperately trying not to share his fate.

"What happened to you?" Natasha muttered, wrinkling her nose in disgust, taking another step back as Clint edged forward a little more. "This has got to be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen... or smelled for that matter."

Pepper however, had lost interest on Clint, though she was still edging back slightly. It looked as though she were holding her breath as her face was turning slightly red. She pointed at Tony and Bruce, causing all four other pairs of eyes to turn toward them.

Natasha put her hands on her hips. "You did this didn't you?" she demanded as Clint spun around, sending a glob of the disgusting stuff to land right on Thor's nose.

"What is this vile substance?" The god of thunder demanded, going cross-eyed to inspect the stuff on his nose.

Tony grinned and Bruce, at least, had the good graces to look remotely ashamed. "He was spying on us again," Tony cleared up, gesturing to the archer. "And I'd made a manure bomb which Bruce and I were just _itching _to try out so..."

"So you chucked it at Clint?" Pepper demanded. Evidently she'd given up the idea of holding her breath which was just as well because Tony could've sworn she was beginning to turn purple. Well, actually, she was still turning purple, just with anger not lack of oxygen. Tony decided that the former was probably better for her health so he didn't mind so much.

"Maybe?" Tony said sheepishly, before whipping out a camera hidden in the front pocket of his black AC/DC hoodie and snapping a photo of Clint before anyone had the chance to react. He grinned as the archer shook his fist at him before storming off and announcing that he needed a shower.

A sudden idea hit the billionaire as he stuffed the camera back in his hoodie, a mischievous look passing through his features though disappearing almost as quickly as it had come – making the others wonder if they'd just imagined it in the first place. He tugged on Bruce's arm and told everyone that they'd be in the lab and they really didn't want and disruptions before they both walked off, Tony whispering something to the scientist causing him to let out an exasperated sigh.

* * *

"But, we only put it into play when Clint comes to spy on us again – which he will." Tony reminded Bruce, waggling his index finger at the scientist. "JARVIS, if anyone asks, Bruce is close to hulking out and unleashing his inner big green rage monster. Okay?"

"_Of course, sir_," JARVIS agreed obediently in his usual crisp British tone.

They didn't have to wait long. Two minutes later, they heard the slight scuffling in the vents which meant Clint was watching them. Bruce and Tony exchanged looks, both trying to hide their smiles.

Tony sauntered up to the scientist, a sharp pin in his hand. "You know, that was kinda impressive how you managed to keep a lid on it last time I poked you." He said nonchalantly. Bruce just shot him a blank look and raised his eyebrows, causing Tony to sigh in resignation. "Remember, when I poked you on the helicarrier and Capsicle had a spaz?" As if to prove his point, he poked Bruce again with the pin in his hand, causing the scientist to jump in shock.

"Jeez Tony, would you stop that?" He snapped. "I let it slide last time but really? It's just getting annoying."

Tony grinned. "So you _do _remember!" He cried triumphantly, looking extremely proud of himself

Bruce just rolled his eyes. "So what if I do?" He snapped, folding his arms across his chest. "You know what, why don't you just shut up, keep your hands-"

"Pins," Tony corrected, causing Bruce to shoot him a dark look.

"Keep your pins to yourself and leave me alone." Bruce finished, correcting himself and giving Tony a look that clearly said; '_You happy now?'_

Tony poked the scientist in the side with his finger. "See the difference?" He asked. "Hand," he poked him with his finger. "Pin," he jabbed Bruce in the side with the pin.

"I swear, Stark, if you can't keep your hands or pins, whatever, to yourself, I'll treat you to my party trick." Bruce's eyes were dark and he rounded on the billionaire furiously.

"Whatever, Jolly Green," Tony sighed exasperatedly, turning back to his Iron Man suit and examining a loose wire.

"Shut up, Stark," Bruce picked up a hammer and slammed it back down on the table when Tony just muttered something like; _Anger problems dude... _"I said, SHUT UP!" He roared, causing the billionaire to spin around, his eyes wide.

* * *

Up in the vents, Clint had watched the impeding argument in horror. This could end up being a potential 'Hulk out', as Tony liked to call it, and the billionaire would be the first victim. He crawled along the vents with a barely audible; _Shit_, and got out at the first exit, promptly dashing off to the kitchen where he suspected everyone else would be.

He wasn't aware of the looks that the two science buddies shot at each other before bursting into a fit of laughter. In fact, he wasn't aware of anything much aside from the knowledge that this could be a total disaster.

"Natasha!" He called, entering the room, his eyes wide. "Bruce and Tony... In the lab..." He panted, causing Natasha to frown. Pepper, Thor and Steve shot each other worried glances but didn't say anything.

"Hang on Clint, slow down," Natasha said. "What happened?"

Clint's eyes flashed with something like fear before he finally spoke.

"Bruce and Tony are alone in the lab and Bruce is mad." He said quickly, though slow enough for the others to be able to understand what he was trying to say.

Pepper frowned. "JARVIS?" She demanded, her voice shaking slightly.

"_Doctor Bruce Banner is in a rather unstable condition. His heart rate is accelerating and Mr Stark is not helping the matter." _

"No, of course he isn't," Pepper muttered, trying to seem calm but was actually hyperventilating inside.

Thor frowned. "We should all suit up and head straight there," he boomed. "I shall summon Mjölnir immediately." As if to prove his point, he held out his hand. The hammer came crashing through a window, sending shards of glass in all directions like falling snowflakes.

* * *

Steve ran off to get his shield. It would take too long to put his whole uniform on, time that they did not have, so he settled for the thing that he needed most and dashed back toward the kitchen.

Once reaching the others, who were each ready to face off against the one thing that they could not beat, they each reached a silent agreement and ran off toward the lab... only to find Bruce and Tony almost collapsing in fits of uncontrollable laughter.

Almost immediately, Bruce spotted the rest of the team and waved sheepishly, nudging Tony in the ribs. The billionaire looked up and flashed them all a blinding smile.

"Hey, Clint," He said brightly. "Were you spying on us again?"

Clint narrowed his eyes. "Are you saying that all of that was just a _prank_?" He demanded. "Do you have any idea how terrifying that was?"

Tony shrugged. "Hey, does that mean you actually care about me?"

"Of course, you dimwit," Natasha snarled, her eyes narrowed dangerously in a perfect imitation of Clint.

Tony looked smug and slightly surprised, until the captain decided to cut in. "Whose idea was this?" Steve snapped, causing everyone to shoot glances at Bruce and Tony who were still trying hard not to laugh.

They both shot glances toward each other before pointing at the other and saying, both at the same time; "It was his idea!"

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry if Bruce is slightly OOC, but hey, the guy has to be slightly irresponsible sometimes right?**


End file.
